The great fights live on forever. The wars are remembered in bars and at water coolers for years. The stunning knock-outs get seen repeatedly on highlight reels. Then, there are the other fights. I’m not talking about the run of the mill, middle of the road affairs. I’m talking about the “what the hell was that,” “Why aren’t they fighting?” affairs. While we can all admit that there have been many uhh…. less than entertaining… fights under Zuffa’s control of the UFC, this particular list focuses on the lackluster fights promoted by SEG.

Number 10. Randy Couture def. Maurice Smith At the UFC’s first journey to the land of the rising sun, the Heavyweight belt would change hands. Future legend, Randy Couture, would dominate using his wrestling skills against kickboxer Maurice Smith. The problem for the fans, was that Couture used little other than his wrestling to smother Smith en route to the decision victory.

Number 9. Pat Militech def. Mikey Burnett This is the fight that established the UFC’s 170lb belt that Militech would hold until Zuffa bought the promotion. As is often the case when the stakes are high, the fight lacked action. Militech would become known for putting on these boring hug-fests, but this one was by far his worst.

Number 8. Oleg Taktarov def. Tank Abbott The culmination of one of the UFC’s most action packed tournaments was a battle between two fan favorites. While there were periods of excitement during the fight, it also produced more than a few yawns. At times during the fight, it appeared the Taktarov was waiting for Abbott to move, while the Tank looked like he had fallen asleep in the Russian’s guard. It was fights like this that urged SEG to begin instituting more referee stand-ups.

Number 7. Jerry Bohlander def. Fabio Gurgel Gurgel came to the UFC with a fair amount of hype surrounding his BJJ skill. His first round opponent at UFC 11 was the durable and crafty Bohlander. Coming to the Octagon with a game plan, Bohlander took the Brazilian to the mat. After maneuvering to the cage, Bohlander held Gurgel to the mat, using the fence (which was legal) at times. The fight stayed in one spot throughout with little notable action. This would be another fight that would help institute rule changes.

Number 6. Tsuyoshi Kohsaka def. Pete Williams Both of these fighters were involved in action-packed fights at other points during their careers. On this night, however, a notorious “gentleman’s agreement” put an end to fans hopes of an interesting contest. With both men willing to avoid throwing strikes on the ground, a submission wrestling match broke out. Even at that, it was neither fast-paced nor extraordinarily technical.

Number 5. Tito Ortiz def. Wanderlei Silva This fight would be extraordinarily important in writing the history of MMA. It would not, however, feature any significant amount of action. Notwithstanding a Silva flurry late in the fight, a pattern of: Takedown, Smother, Bell would define this unmemorable battle.

Number 4. Ken Shamrock drew Oleg Taktarov When Oleg Taktarov arrived in America, he first made acquaintances through his history in Sambo. He would befriend Guy Mezger, Anthony Macias, and Ken Shamrock. There would be many problems that arose from the conflict of interest that is fighting a friend. At UFC 7, Shamrock and Taktarov put on a rather uneventful 35 minutes of “fighting” that resulted in a draw. Though Taktarov would be bloodied at the end of the fight, fans were not impressed by performance of either man.

Number 3. Laverne Clark def. Koji Oishi Last minute replacements always offer a wild card in a fight. In the case of Clark vs. Oishi, it stopped the fight all together. The Japanese had little training other than a wrestling background and wore a singlet in the fight. Clark had a reputation as a heavy puncher. The stark contrast in their styles, mixed with the short time they each had to prepare, made both very timid. Clark won a majority decision mostly on reputation. One judge did, however, score the fight a draw. We can only assume that the draw was 0-0.

Number 2. Paul Varelans def. Joe Moreira Paul Varelans returned to the Octagon at UFC 8 vowing to be a “thinker.” Fans hoped that this would mean fine-tuning his bull-rush style into a more refined, efficient attack. What it did mean, however, was that he planned to walk towards his opponent for the duration of the bout only occasionally making any move to attack. Why Moreira backpedaled from Varelans for the entire fight remains a mystery. What is certain is that neither fighter earned the moniker of “thinker.”

Number 1. Dan Severn def. Ken Shamrock The gold standard for snooze-inducing non-fights is this gem from UFC 9. Dubbed by history “The Great Dance,” Severn’s victory in Detroit left many viewers scratching their heads. In the days before the show, local politicians made a push to stop the event from happening. The compromise reached was that no closed-fist strikes were allowed. Shamrock did not want to fight the bigger man without being able to punch, but was convinced to enter the ring anyway. Thirty minutes later, few viewers remained awake to see 3 judges declare Severn the victor. Severn would say that he expected the decision to be the opposite because of Shamrock’s superior reputation. In the books, however, Severn has the dubious honor of winning The Great Dance.